The Simple Things

A/N: After sacrificing many lunches and spending WHO-knows-how-many-hours instant messaging each-other, me and livi finally finished a Crew-Resident one-shot! and just in time for Christmas! YAAAY! i CAN get things done on time!! see?

anyway, enjoy people!

and have a very merry Christmas!

======================================================

Daiyori: Holy crap this is cold...

(It's snowing, and the Residents are outside and on their way to the Lair to celebrate Christmas Eve with the Crew)

Durithyll: (running around like a 4 year old) SNOW!!! I love snow!!

Daiyori: You see it every year. Can you stop spazzing now?

Durithyll: (sticks her tongue out) Shu-- hey! (points to her tongue) I caught a snowflake!

Daiyori: (eyebrow twitches)

Roake: Don't worry (pats him on the head)

(Everyone continues to walk down the snowy street. Eventually, they come to a large one-story house)

Jacob: D-mn! They--

Durithyll: Don't cuss!(smacks him)

Jacob: ow!! I was just saying they have a big house--

Durithyll: THE APARTMENT IS JUST FINE!! DON'T YOU DARE INSULT IT!!

Jacob: I wasn't! I was just saying theirs is--

Durithyll: BIGGER?! BETTER?!?! HOW BOUT YOU GO LIVI WITH THEM IF YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH!!

Daiyori: That would be bad though. He and his girlfriend could get naughty...

Jacob: SHUTUP!! (throws a wrench at Daiyori, sending him flying and tumbling to the ground.)

Komasu: ... uh... maybe we should, just, uh... go inside...

Durithyll: (instantly happy again) Yay! Food!!

(everyone walks up to the door and Durithyll rings the bell. The door flies open, and in an instant, Mowo has glomped Jacob into a bank of snow)

Mowo: Hey, Jacob! (kisses him) Merry Christmas!

Jacob: (stunned) H-Hi Mowo!

Daiyori: (laughs)

Jacob: (glares)

Daiyori: So when is--

Livi: (snatches up Daiyori) Hey people! (throws the snake around her shoulders)

Daiyori: Uh... what?

Durithyll: Hey! That is MY snake!!

Livi: No... this is MY SCARF!!

Durithyll: Yeah right! (lunges)

Roake: (loops his arms under Durithyll's) D, calm down.

Daiyori: (squirming) Ya! Put me down! Roake is bad enough about this!!

Livi: (grips him firmly) Don't think so! You'd be smart to stay still!

Jacob: Ho ho! The Snarky-jerk-snake has been reduced to a scarf!

Daiyori: Shut up!!

Julieanna: (from kitchen) Livi!! Stop scaring the Resdients and come help me!

Livi: K! C'mon in, guys!

Annoyance: (slips in) Hey people!! What's-- ACK!! (ducks behind Livi)

Livi: What's your problem?

Annoyance: (still hiding) YOU DIDN'T TELL ME BOREDOM WAS GONNA BE HERE!!!

Boredom: (has just slipped in behind the Residents, looking very unhappy)

Durithyll: Bodredom!! You came!!

Boredom: (grumbling) Finale insisted....

Durithyll: Yay! (grabs Boredom by the arm and drags her into the Living Room)

(everyone crowds into the Living Room)

Jacob: (counts everyone in the room) whoa wait... where's the loser with the psycho girlfriend?

Mowo: Tiku? He and Nata are still in the Game Room.

Jacob: ... game room? You guys have a GAME ROOM?! We barely have a bedroom, and only Durithll has it--

Durithyll: (throws a book-- Twilight – at him) SHUT UP!!

Jacob: Ack! (ducks, runs off in search of Game Room)

Mowo: Jacob! C'mere! (opens Game Room door and steps in)

(The Game Room is completely dark, save for the TV screen-- showing Guitar Hero. Tiku and Nata are playing, and Matsudai is sleeping next to Nata. In the corner, a large bookshelf FILLED with games is visible.)

Mowo: (leaning against couch) You're playing without me?!

Nata: I told him not to...

Tiku: She was taking too long!

Jacob: (standing around looking amazed) Holy crap! Why don't you guys just BUY the game store?! You have more games than they do!!

Tiku: Jealous much?

Jacob: Don't start! (jumps over the back of the couch and lands next to Tiku, notices a plate sitting on the floor in front of them FILLED with sugar cookies) ... betcha I can beat you in a sugar cookie eating contest.

Tiku: (eyes flick from the screen, to the cookies, then to Jacob) ... You're on.

(cut scene back to the others)

Durithyll: He's MY snake!!!

Livi: (back to the wall, shoving Durithyll off with one foot and holding Daiyori over her head) No, he's MY SCARF!! I believe we've been through this!

Durithyll: I don't care!! Give him back!!!

(whips around to face Roake)

Durithyll: Roake!! Make her give him back!!

Daiyori: PLEASE!! This is humiliating!!

Roake: (smiles, looking rather amused) I think Komasu needs some help in the kitchen.

Jacob: (from inside the game room) Keep 'em coming Komasu!!

Komasu: O-okay!! (looking slightly flustered as she carries a tray opf cookies into the game room)

Roake: (waves, and quickly runs off after Komasu)

Durithyll: Roake!! Get back here!!

Daiyori: You TRAITOR!!

Livi: Yo! Quit squirming! I'm about to friggin HURT you!

Durithyll: You better not!! (flings herself at Livi)

(cut scene to the Game Room)

Jacob: I –huff -- win!! (collapses)

(Jacob and Tiku are sprawled across the floor, with 6 empty plates surrounding them)

Tiku: (groans) Ugh... I dunno how you stand that stuff...

Jacob: ...practice... (covers his mouth) Oh crap...

Tiku: You throw up on my Wii I'll friggin murder you!

Mowo: Shut up, Tiku! (wraps her arms around Jacob's neck) Are you okay, sweetie?

Jacob: Groan.........................

Mowo: Aww... (gasp!) I know! There's a coffee shop right down the street! We can head over there, and you'll perk right up!

Jacob: But I don' wanna.....

Mowo: (pecks him on the cheek) Yes, you do...

Jacob: (grins) You're right...

Mowo: 'K then, let's go! (starts to pull Jacob up)

(walks into the living room, and immediately see Livi sitting on top of Durithyll, holding Daiyori above her head)

Durithyll: (kicking and screaming) give me back my snake!!!

Daiyori: (yelling at Roake who is inside the kitchen) Roake, you b-stard!! get in here now!!!

Roake: (turns on the mixer) Whaat? I can't hear you! (smiles as he points to the mixer) It's too loud!!

Daiyori: $*#@!!

Durithyll: Don't cuss!!!

Jacob: Um... I think we should go now...

Mowo: Uh, yeah... (pulls Jacob towards the door)

Livi: (Struggling to keep Durithyll down) Where're you two going?

Daiyori: Oh come on! Can't you at least stick to pre-existing contractions?!

Livi: Does it bother you?

Daiyori: YES!!

Livi: Then, no!

Mowo: (throws the door open) Let's go! (pulls Jacob out)

(cut scene to backyard)

Boredom: (standing outside up to her ankles in snow, trying to get away from the insanity) stupid blue-haired idiot... with stupid pointy horns....

Annoyance: (slips in a few feet in front of Boredom and nails her in the face with a MONSTER snowball) Tag!! You're it!!

Boredom: You-- YOU'RE SO DEAD!!

Annoyance: (lips out, then back in behind Boredom) I'll bet Artist Block's getting' a kick outta this! (throws another snowball)

Boredom: The only kick she's gonna get is when my foot get's shoved up her-- (a snow ball smacks her in the side of the face)

Zatannii: Now, now, Boredom.... is that anyway for a lady to talk?

(Cut scene back to Jacob and Mowo. They've just gotten their coffee and are headed back home)

Mowo: (handing off Jacob's arm, takes a long sip of coffee) Mmm... I love coffee!! It's so warm...

Jacob: (quietly sipping at his coffee) mmm...

Mowo: (notices some kids playing in the snow) (smiles and looks up at Jacob) So, how many kids do you wanna have?

Jacob: (spews his coffee) WHAT?!

(cut scene back to the Lair)

(By this time, everyone has gotten sucked into the snowball fight, with every man for himself)

Daiyori: (is running frantically in the snow, trying to get away from Livi)

Livi: (chasing Daiyori, while at the same time trying to get away from Durithyll) D!! Get off me!!

Durithyll: never!! he's MY snake!

Boredom: eat THAT!! (throws a snow ball at Annoyance, smacking her in the face)

Annoyance: (trying to duck behind Zatannii) Jerk!! (throws another snowball at Boredom)

Boredom: Like that'll help! (charges straight at Zatannii, knocking him to the ground)

Annoyance: (bursts out laughing, completely oblivious to Boredom)

Zatannii: (grabs Boredom by her ankle while she's in mid-lunge at Annoyance and pulls her down)

Boredom: Zatannii! just let me slaughter her for once!

Zatannii: as funny as that may be, i really wouldn't have to deal with the authorities... it'd just be a waste of ammunition, really.

Annoyance: I thought you WERE the authorities?

Zatannii: in all things hilariously sadistic, yes! but not "turn around, hands behind your head"... so boring really... no action, no gun fights, no blowing up antis as they try to smash through the very foundation of their own reality!!

(Jacob and Mowo pick that moment to step around the corner and find the chaos in the backyard)

Jacob: what the h-ll is going on? wait -- is that – ZATANNII!?!?

Mowo: Aw, he's so cute!

Jacob: (slowly turns to Mowo with a look of enraged confusion)

Mowo: (recoils slightly) Oops...

Jacob: (bends down and packs together a very dense snowball. adds a few rocks for good measure) (smiles manically) two can play at this game...

Boredom: (trying to throw a snow ball at Zatannii) stay still!

Zatannii: And why would I do that?

Zatannii: it's a shame really... thesd snowballs are so incredibly non-lethal! if only they exploded -- (gets smacked in the side of the face with Jacob's snowball)

Jacob: HA! take that robo-psycho!

Annoyance: Ha! Nice shot Jacob!!

Zatannii: (small trickle of oil-like fluid trickles down his face) hey look! i'm bleeding!

Jacob: you'll be doing way more then that when i'm through with you!

Zatannii: i'm not sure you can compete with a SD-427-2 model complete with four concealed concussive force pistols, two double action, wrist mounted firearms, three back up generators, and a partridge in a pear-tree.

Mowo: (blink blink) (whispers to Jacob) What'd he say?

Jacob: i... uh.. don't know... but i have a wrench and I'm not afraid to use it!!

Boredom: from a snowball fight to a battle of the idiots...

Annoyance: Funny... that seems to be how most of this ends

Boredom: pretty much... hey! we're not done yet!

Annoyance: True dat! (smacks her in the face with a rather large snowball)

Durithyll: (huffing heavily) give me... back... my snaaaaaaaaaaaake....

Daiyori: (hiding in a tree above both Livi and Durithyll as they stop to catch their breath)

Livi: (also gasping for breath) No... way... he's my... scarf...

Durithyll: he's my... snake... (tries to lunge at Livi, but just ends of plopping down on the ground) stupid snake... too darn fast....

Livi: (starts to point out she and Roake can never agree on Daiyori's speed level, but simply rolls her eyes and waves D off instead) No comment...

Durithyll: (still faceplanted in the snow) whatever

(silence)

Durithyll: i'm coooooold....

Livi: (folds her arms over her chest) Ugh... me too... (calls up towards the tree) We're going in if you don't wanna freeze, Snarky!!

Durithyll: wha -- (looks up) DAIYORI! what are you doing up there!?

Daiyori: hiding from you morons! what do you think!?

Livi: Well, get down here! (starts off towards the house) JULIEANNA!!! I HUNGER!!!

Julieanna: (leaning in the backdoor watching the chaos) Finally... thought you morons would never get tired...

Livi: (shoves past her) Shuttup....

Daiyori: (slowly slithers down the tree)

Durithyll: (runs inside, paying no attention to Daiyori) i want COFFEE!! i'm COLD!

Livi: Coffee? Bleah! I want hot chocolate!!

Durithyll: WHAT!? no! that's blasphemous! i demand coffee!

Roake: (was also sitting and watching on the porch) ah, so the snow ball warriors return?

Daiyori: more like snowball MORONS... they had me running all over the place! in the COLD SNOW!

Boredom: (tries to squeeze the water out of her hair) stupid nuisance...

Zatannii: they may not explode on impact or cause other forms of lethal damage, but snowballs are still fun!

Jacob: SHUT. UP!!!

Mowo: (hugs Jacob) Play nice

Jacob: (practically whining) tell HIM that!!

Tiku: (flicks Jacob's ear) Yo! Beat I can eat more actual FOOD than you!

Jacob: Oh, you are SO ON!! (runs to the table after Tiku)

Mowo: (rolls her eyes) Oi...

Daiyori: can we just EAT now?

Livi: Yes! Food!!

(Everyone crowds around the table, snatching up whatever food is available, and just having a good time. Everyone talks about nothing, but that's okay. Friendships don't have to have a point, and they rarely ever do. It seems that more times then not, the only time that the Residents AND the Crew ever get to spend time together as one, is when the entire known universe is in peril. Chances are, things will go back to being the crazy way things are come next week. but for now, for this moment, things are okay, and they plan to make the most of this moment. and that's by enjoying the simple things in life -- good friendships, and good food.)

Merry Christmas!