Tales from the Apartment

I NEED PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE:

STORY DUDE
JASON (who needs a name) ;-)
MOOLATTE (yes, i know what you look like, but just in case you want to look anthro or something)

AND IF I MISSED SOMEBODY, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU, IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M STUPID.


A/N: yes, i know... this ridiculously late (it's 11: 50) but it's still December 17! and more importantly... Komasu's Birthday! i know, there is probably a butt-load of typos, but it's late, and i'm going to bed thank you very much! so i'll go over it in the morning.

enjoy! and i still need descriptions from some of you people!

sigh... i love the Residents so much... they mean so much to me!


=====================================================================

Komasu: D, i told you not to do this.

Durithyll: and i told you to shut up.

(Durithyll and Komasu are currently in the Apartment. Durithyll is standing at the kitchen counter, preparing an extravagant fruit salad.)

Durithyll: It's your birthday. so you're getting a birthday party.

Komasu: sigh...

(Komasu had long resigned herself to the fact that there was not going to be any backing down on Durithyll's part concerning the matter. Deciding that it was better than arguing, she grabbed some plates and took them to the small porch outside, where the only real table was)

Durithyll: see? now isn't that better?

Komasu: you still shouldn't be going through this much trouble over my birthday...

(Komasu was quickly cut off when an empty streamer roll flew into the side of her head

Komasu: h-hey!

Durithyll: of course we should! this is your birthday! and you're a Resident! and more importantly, one of my best friends.

Komasu: (blushing heavily) ...i'll go take these out now...

Durithyll: (looking very smug, and turns back to the salad she was working on.)

(someone is heard fumbling with the door knob from outside the Apartment.)

Durithyll: I'll get it! (steps over to the door and quickly opens the door) Zatannii!

Zatannii: Hi! (steps inside, with his characteristic grin plastered all over his face. points to a small, wrapped box in his hand) look! i brought a present this time!

Jacob: (had been digging through the closet looking for more party supplies) great... is it a bomb or something?

Zatannii: of course not! Bombs are much too messy to make! although the gratifying sound of imploding air and debris being shot out in all directions makes it worth--

Jacob: just stop talking. right now. so what DID you get her?

Zatannii: (opens his mouth to say something)

Jacob: never mind.  i really don't want to know.

Zatannii: (grins even bigger, if that was even possible)

Durithyll: do you know if Boredom is coming?

Zatannii: of course! she said she be here soon.

Jacob: (cocks his eyebrow) And do you always know Boredom's whereabouts?

Zatannii: usually. She's actually really funny once you get to know her.

Jacob: (looks slightly weirded out) uh, what? are we talking about the same Boredom? cause i'm thinking really bit--

Boredom: (suddenly slips in, smacks Jacob in the back of head) finish that sentence at your own risk.

Jacob: what is up with you people!? do you magically know when i'm about to cuss or something!? Da--

Durithyll: (smacks him) hello? can you at least TRY?

Jacob: sorry...

Komasu: (has just stepped back inside from the porch) oh! Zatannii! and Boredom?

Boredom: yes! is it REALLY that surprising?

Komasu: well... you kinda make it sound like you hate you guts...

Boredom:  here. (tosses a small present to Komasu) gotcha something.

Komasu: huh? oh! (catches the present awkwardly) t-thanks! i... (blushes lightly, looks up at Boredom) thank you.

Boredom: whatever. just don't let it go to your head.

Durithyll: (snatches up Zatannii and Boredom's presents) i'll just take these outside! and can someone call Roake? he should've been back now with the cake.

Jacob: (expertly whips out his cell phone) on it... (scrolls through his contact list and clicks on Roake's. Puts the phone to his ear and waits for him to answer)

(A traditional riiiiiing riiiiiiing is heard from somewhere in the room)

(everyone turns to the coffee counter, where a phone is sitting ringing)

Durithyll: did he forget to take his with him AGAIN?

Jacob: oh God... what is wrong with his ringtone? it's nauseating...

Komasu: where'd Daiyori go?

Jacob: are you kidding me? Roake and Daiyori are practically joined at the hip. well, they would be if Daiyori had a hip. but he doesn't. so i guess they're joined at the tail?

Durithyll: (rolls her eyes) just stop now, before you hurt yourself.

(Just then, a knocking is heard at the door)

Daiyori: (from outside) hurry up and open the door!

Komasu: (in a very good mood) coming! (opens the door)

Daiyori: (slithers in past Komasu, notices Boredom) oh, hi Boredom.

Boredom: (throws her hands up in the air) yes! i was here for your birthday wasn't i!? and Zatannii's here! doesn't HE get any reaction?

Daiyori: he sort of likes us. at least, we assume he does.

Zatannii: (waves)

Boredom: (eyebrow twitches) well i brought a present.

Roake: Really? hm. anyway, i got the cake!

Durithyll: lemme see! lemme see! (yanks the cake out of Roake's hands) aw, i love it!

Komasu: it's... huge.

Durithyll: course it is!

Jacob: ok, everybody's here, can we EAT now!?

(Everyone makes their way outside and crowds around the small round table outside)

Daiyori: oh dear ancestors... please tell me that Durithyll didn't cook.

Durithyll: hey! i can cook!

Daiyori: Durithyll, Baking soda is NOT the same thing as sugar.

Durithyll: hey! that was not my fault! anyway, it's a salad. you can't screw that up.

Daiyori: you would manage...

Durithyll: will you shut up!? oi...

(Everyone eats contentedly as fun, pointless conversations run though. Conversations on nothing in particular, but just a group of friends enjoying one of the few times that they can all eat together like this.)

Durithyll: so, i was all like -- KOMASU!!!

Komasu: (jerks up) w-w-what!?

Durithyll: what is THAT! (pointing wildly to the open text book in front of Komasu)

Komasu: uhm... my history book--

Durithyll: no! this is YOUR birthday! you will NOT be STUDYING at the TABLE!!

Komasu: b-but i have my exam on Friday!

Durithyll: it can wait!

Komasu: no it can't--

Durithyll: it can wait.

Komasu: (looking sort of scared) a-alright... (slowly closes the text book ad places it beneath her seat)

Durithyll: muuuuuuch better. now who wants cake?

(after giving everyone a very generous slice of cake, everyone sings Komasu happy birthday -- even Boredom. Komasu then opens her presents, revealing a digital picture frame from Zatannii -- that he designed -- and a very expensive looking digital camera from Boredom. Komasu at first had problems accepting the expensive looking presents, but after threats of physical violence from Durithyll, she thanked everyone profusely and put the presents next to her.

It was extremely late now, and after going back inside, Jacob revealed three six packs of beer. Durithyll nearly beat him to death.

Roake had to physically separate the two if Jacob was going to come out of the ordeal alive. After the whole commotion had finally ended -- with Jacob only minorly wounded -- Boredom said her good-byes, and left the Apartment. with Zatannii leaving shortly after.

it's extremely late now, easily past one o' clock.)

Komasu: sigh...

(Komasu is sitting in one of the chairs that Zatannii had dragged in from the porch. Durithyll is sitting in the other one still awake, while Jacob, Roake, and Daiyori are sprawled all over each other on the couch)

Durithyll: watcha thinking about?

Komasu: nothing really...

(the two sit in companionable silence for a while)

Durithyll: you know... you never opened my present...

Komasu: what?

Durithyll: (smiles, and stands up, wincing as the chair creaks slightly. as quietly as she can, she sneaks over to the kitchen and couched down behind the counter. When she stands up again, she is smiling broadly and holding a small gift bag stuffed with coloured paper. walking back over to where Komasu is sitting, she drops into her lap.)

Komasu: (looks up at Durithyll with a questioning look, but doesn't say anything)

Durithyll: (sits back down while Komasu is quietly taking the paper out the bag. after digging through it for a few moments, Komasu gasps and pulls out two tickets)

Komasu: you didn't...

Durithyll: i so did.

Komasu: these are two tickets to the Transformers Bot-Con!! (quickly looks over to the guys, wanting to make sure she hadn't waken them) i can't believe you!

Durithyll: don't worry about it! and come next spring... prepare for death by squee over dose!

Komasu: (sits back in her chair, looking at the two tickets fondly) you really shoudn't have. i'm serious.

Durithyll: and you're acting like a complete and utter idiot. of course i should have! Komasu, you have got to stop short-changing yourself like this. You are a Resident. and always will. so suck it up and deal with it.

Komasu: (smiles) thank you Durithyll.

Durithyll: (doesn't even bother to ask about what in particular, she understands) You're welcome Komasu. Happy Birthday.

Durithyll: yo! i just felt like posting a random blog because i CAN.Yay! Plus i haven't formally introduced you guys to the Residents yet!

Daiyori: (poofs in) great. now was this really necessary? EVERYONE knows who we are.

Jacob: (poofs in) yay! i'm the pretty boy, and he's the stingy, antisocial mooch!

Daiyori: at least i'm not whipped by my girlfriend.

Roake: (poofs in) (cuffs Daiyori upside the head)

Daiyori: ow! what is it with you and this sudden obsession with smacking people!?

Roake: Would you like to go back to the original?

~~ZAPP!~~

(Daiyori is now a smoldering pile of ashes)

Roake: (looks at Durithyll) was that really necessary?

Durithyll: not really. but do you really expect me to NOT zapp Daiyori in my FIRST blog entry? it's practically a tradition!

Roake: (shakes head) sigh...

Komasu: (poofs in) wha?

Durithyll: hey komasu! i'm just throwing everyone into this first blog entry for the sake of doing it!

Komasu: (looks around) where's Daiyori-- oh. (notices the ashes) why do you zapp him anyway?

Durithyll: Because! he's jerk! Whenever he insults me--

Jacob: which is alot.

Durithyll: --i zapp him!

Komasu: oh... so when are you going to unzapp him?

Durithyll: fine...

Daiyori: (is now unzapped) oi! i hadn't even said anything yet!

Durithyll: but you would have!

Daiyori: So!?

Durithyll: so i was just going to go ahead and zapp you!

Daiyori: what?! that's not fair! that's the stupi--

Roake: (clamps Daiyori's jaws shut) for the sake of your well-being, you need to stop spazzing.

Daiyori: !!!

Durithyll: anyway, (turns to the reader) while Roake is taking care of that... hi! i'm Durithyll! i'm 22, and currently a starving artist! This is Roake (points to Roake)

Roake: (waves with one hand, while using the other to keep Daiyori from getting himself zapped)

Durithyll: he's a fox and a crazy awesome painter and actually does that for a living. He's usually Daiyori's voice of conscience--

Jacob: And is Mr. Mom around here.

Roake: Why are you obsessed with calling me that?

Jacob: because it's hilarious! Durithyll's the one who started all this mess, so you think SHE'D be a little more helpful around the Apartment! but no! she can't even turn on the dryer!

Durithyll: Hey! that dryer is just demented!

Jacob: riiiiiight.

Daiyori: (spazzing even more under Roake's restraints due to the fact that Jacob wasn't zapped for insulting Durithyll, but HE was zapped IN ADVANCE)

Durithyll: whatever! you are such a-- hey. where's Komasu? (looks around. Komasu is no where to be seen in the main room of the Apartment)

Durithyll: (takes a deep breath) KOMASU! Get back here!!

(the closet door slowly creaks open. Komasu tentatively peeks her head out)

Komasu: y-yes?

Durithyll: (puts her hands on hips and taps her foot angrily) where do you think you're going?

Komasu: i, uh... i really needed to study for my history test on monday! i just... wanted to study for a... little bit...

Durithyll: you're "little bit" is four hours. come here. (grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the closet, which is also her room)

Komasu: but i need to study!

Durithyll: Later! i always put things off till later! (turns back to the reader) ok, this, is Komasu! she's a bat and is currently in college. She's the youngest of us at 18 and she's also a Transformers fan! just like me! isn't that awesome!?

That's Jacob over there. He's a mechanic is completely and utterly whipped by his girlfriend, Mowo. Mowo is a cat and one of Livi's characters. They make the absolute CUTEST couple!! Anyway, hes a weasel. and a halo-obsessed gamer freak.

And last, but certainly not least, Daiyori! he's a dark grey snake and an absolute jerk!

Jacob: He's also a mooch.

Durithyll: what!? Daiyori is not a mooch!

Jacob: he's the ONLY one who doesn't have a job!

Durithyll: whatever! (turns back to the reader) he may seem jerkish, but he actually DOES care! he just hides it behind a mountain of snark. (claps hands together)

And i think that's all! now, i'm going--

Zatannii: what about me?

Jacob: WHAT!? ZATANNII!! (whirls around the room, trying to find him) Where are you!?

Zatannii: on the computer! (the monitor screen suddenly shifts to show a blonde headed guy with a perpetual smile on his face) hi!

Jacob: (picks up one of the bar stools, intending to throw it at the computer)

Roake: hey! (lets go of Daiyori and lunges at Jacob)

Daiyori: (gasps for air) finally! i can BREATHE!

Roake: (yanks the stool out of Jaocb's hands)

Jacob: you... you...

Zatannii: hang on! i'll be there in a second! (the monitor screen blips off and back on, showing what had previously been on there)

Durithyll: ...and that was Zatannii! We met when he downloaded himself into my computer! the confusing part though... is that he can magically show up as a human... No matter how many times we ask him HOW, HE NEVER ANSWERS. he just smiles and says--

Zatannii: --"But if i told you, you'd know!" (Zatannii walks into the Apartment from the front door) (waves) hi!

Jacob: will you get out of here!?

Zatannii: love you too Jacob! (turns to he reader) hi! i'm Zatannnii! and i'm a cop!

Durithyll: he never explains how he can be a (yells at Zatannii) POLICE OFFICER as well. So Zatannii is just one big--

Jacob: --homicidal, psychopathic SADIST!!

Durithyll: i was going to say mystery... anyway, if you want to know a little bit more on how Zatannii showed up, just read the Epic Comment Posting i currently have up. I don't have the whole thing up yet, but it should be up here soon! Start with the comment that was left by "Drogan" and read down.

now that that's out of the way--

Boredom: (poofs in) sigh... hi.

Durithyll: Boredom! you're here! (lunges at Boredom and glomps her)

Boredom: get off of me! (shoves Durithyll off)

Durithyll: (not the least but offended) hi!

Boredom: ug... (places hand on fore-head) Finale insisted i show up for your first blog entry on the new site.

Durithyll: really!? I feel loved!!

Boredom: hey! wasn't my idea!! Finale is forcing me!!

Durithyll: (didn't seem to take notice) Boredom is an Elemental. that means that she is one of the aspects of art. She is the source of all the inspiration in Here (Here is the name of the reality where the Residents and the Crew exist)! but she's a jerk too... she has a semi-sadistic side in the fact that she loves seeing artist's fail to reach their dead-line because of lack of inspiration. not to mention that when she gives inspiration, it's by hitting you really hard upside the head with the "Glove of Inspiration."

The Elementals can be a bit confusing! For each aspect of art, theres an Elemental. Like there's Imagination, Artist Block, Finale, and a bunch of others! They live above all we mortals in a seperate reality the Mystery Mansion. Thery're also responsible for the creation of new realities.

If you still don't get it, just ask!

Ok, now, i REALLY need to go!

Daiyori: no you don't. you just want to fix yourself a cup of coffee.

Durithyll: that's urgent! it's past nine o'clock and i STILL haven't had my coffee yet!! so i REALLY need to go!

If any of you guys have any questions, just ask!

-D






LEVEL OF CANON: 2 -- CHARACTER CANNON